A Night at the Circus

A Night at the Circus

or: The Night I Brought Down the Big Top

Honest folks, I don't have Colossus on the brain. It's just the way the commissions crumble.

The following story is 99 ⁴⁴/₁₀₀ % true.

The Night I Brought Down the Big Top at the Ringling Brothers, Barnum and Bailey Circus!

Years ago, when the world was young, the gang decides to go see the Circus. We have pretty good seats. Close enough to the floor for one of the clowns to take a fancy towards a young lady in the group.

Coming off the floor and into the stands, he declares his undying devotion for the young lady with much theatrical gesticulation and mime and begs a kiss. The young lady rolls up into a ball of embarrassment and giggles and waves the clown away. With slumping shoulders the clown shuffles sadly back to the floor. The crowd reacts sadly, "Awwwwwww..."

Some minutes later the clown is back. This time with gifts in the form of a large bouquet of flowers. He again gestures his never ending love and again he is rebuffed. Not with embarrassment and giggles but with knitted brow. The flowers wilt. With lowered head  the clown hides his tearful eyes behind his forearm and again retreats to the floor in forlorn defeat. The crowd is not happy, "Aw, c'mon, Lady! Give the clown a kiss!"

A few moments later, he's back. This time with a giant heart necklace complete with coocoo bird popping in and out. With sweeping gestures he indicates that all that she can survey is hers if she'll just favor him with a kiss. This time the young lady is simply pissed off. As he leans in, I grab his face between my hands, stand us both straight up and plant a big, fat, kiss square on his huge, red, lips! The crowd goes wild, "YEAAAAAAA!!!!

To his credit, the clown never breaks character or misses a beat. He stumbles backwards, waving his arms and wiping his face, falls backward over the rail and belly flops on the circus floor. He gets up and runs in floppy, clown-like, fashion to the clown ambulance to wash his face in a bucket of water only to douse himself in confetti.

Thunderous applause rains down on me as, with upraised arms, I salute the four corners of the auditorium.  

And everyone got up and went home... OK that part didn't happen but, it may as well have because that was the biggest laugh of the night if I say so myself. And I just did.

Wash those hands, put on your @#$%! masks and go get spiked... or I'll KISS you, right on your big, red, clown lips!

Happy Trails

Smitty